Holding too tight to the Knob

I had an opportunity one day this week to be up early and take a road trip.  Road trips were a part of my life for five years.  The one part of travel I enjoyed was the quiet time.  It's been much harder to accomplish that being at home, and I really appreciated the opportunity to have that time this week.

This was a special road trip, a four hour, round trip journey to take the entrance test for graduate school.  Its a dream I have been talking about for almost 10 years, or more.

I topped a hill, catching a glimpse of the sun beginning to rise.  Literally the clouds were painted a beautiful pink before my eyes.  God's awesome, beautiful artistry in the making.  He painted the clouds and simultaneously spoke to my heart.

God has opened many doors in my life.  In that moment, I understood the power of the doors he has closed.  If it had not been for a series of closed doors...and one through which he had to push me kicking and screaming, I would not be where I am today.

Isaiah 48:17-18

17 This is what the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel says: I am Yahweh your God,
who teaches you for your benefit,
who leads you in the way you should go.
18 If only you had paid attention to My commands.
Then your peace would have been like a river.

and your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

This morning in my quiet time, God led me to Isaiah 48.  As I read the words, the conversation we had Wednesday about closed doors came rushing back.  I spent lots of time pursuing opportunities that made perfect sense to me and the world, and ignoring the call of God on my heart.  For more than two years, he called me to let go of something I cherished in order to pursue his desire for my life. I wrestled and struggled.  I lost plenty of sleep and woke many nights gasping for air in panic.  When he finally pushed hard enough to make me let go, I found the peace found here in Isaiah.  The peace he promises when we let Him lead our lives.  Why do we struggle so hard sometimes?

Doors sometimes keep us from traveling down the wrong path.  Doors sometimes keep us in the hallway long enough to find the right one.  Doors sometimes start as an open door we get pushed through and slammed in our face.  Doors sometimes are the start of a new adventure.

Its not always easy to understand why a door closes, or why we can't seem to open one.  But it is truly amazing when we have the hindsight to see what a closed door meant at the time.

There will always be doors in our lives.   Those doors don't have to be battles of the soul.  Let go, listen to God, and find peace with those door knobs.


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