A doctor's appointment I had earlier in the month rocked my world. The hearing issues and vertigo I've experienced for the past few years and treated as inner ear were diagnosed as a rare form of migraines. I don't have headaches, or at least not what you would think of as a migraine. Instead it presents as vertigo, ringing in the ears, ear pressure and pain, and muffled hearing. I am chronic at this point, meaning there are symptoms occurring at least 15 days out of every month. Truthfully, I can't remember the last symptom free day I had.
My hearing, according to the 45 minutes of testing, is in the normal range for someone my age. The problem is my brain simply isn't getting it. I'm really struggling with that concept and how a medication that is supposed to calm an overactive area of my brain can help fix my muffled hearing...which really isn't muffled at all.
I am discouraged the treatment is trial and error, with a "goal of 50 percent improvement in three months." The treatments so far have been as hard on me as the issues I've been facing, and my heart took a blow when I finally came to the realization I needed to put my masters on hold for the summer and hope things level out by August. So this week, I've really been having to pray about my attitude.
I am thankful my hearing is "normal" and it hopefully will return, and I am thankful for a doctor who could piece together the puzzle and make a diagnosis I had never even heard of.
In my quiet time, praying for my acceptance and patience, I've thought a lot about our "hearing". There is a line in one of my favorite choir songs, "Thou O Lord," that says, "I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his Holy ear."
When we call, its as if everything in the universe becomes still, and he clearly, distinctly, hears and comprehends each and every word we so much as think.
There are lots of times we "hear" something, but we don't really hear it. The words go into our ears, and we don't let the brain, or our heart, comprehend. I've thought about how many times I've half listened to the call on my heart from God. My heart was perfectly capable of grasping the message, but I didn't let it.
We do the same with our children, our friends. We miss the call from others seeking encouragement, the prime opportunity to present the gospel, the chance to just close our mouths and learn a lesson from someone else's experience.
As I pray for clearer hearing, its not just for my physical ears, its also for my heart. I want to recognize the opportunities God places before me each and every day to live out the life he prepared for me. I don't want to miss out on something he has planned because I didn't pay close enough attention.
Father, open my eyes and ears to the people and situations you place in my path. Help me to recognize the opportunities you place before me each day, and to listen more closely to your will for my life.