Jesus Girls Just Need to Let Go

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

I'm going to let you in on a secret.  Even though we know God has this, sometimes we need to let go of things and realize we aren't really okay.

2018 didn't play out exactly like I expected it to.  I lost the job I loved in June.  Trusting God would provide, and he did, I barreled forward into a new position.  It was challenging though.  I started at a very busy time and took on some responsibilities that I just wasn't trained to handle.  There were lots of long days, Nashville traffic and boxes of kleenex.

My sister also made a career change and moved from being just 15 minutes down the road to more than 8 hours away.  Having her close had really eased the transition to a new town where I didn't have friends.  Not to mention, I just enjoyed spending time with my sister again after not having that privilege for so many years.

Troy has recently made a job change and with an adjusted work schedule which now has him working nights and weekends.  I go in early so I am often asleep when he gets home, and we don't see a lot of each other.

The kids have their own schedules and own lives.  Noah is driving, and Taylor recently got engaged.  This mom is dealing with quasi empty nest syndrome.

This past week I watched as the town we called home for more than 20 years fight the Tennessee River flooding.  It hurt to watch friends' homes and businesses lost.  It also hurt to see how beautifully that small town pulled together like family to support each other just like they always do... and I wasn't there to help out.

Last Saturday, my best friend texted she lost a beloved pet.  Oh how I wanted to wrap my arms around her and give her a hug!  I really miss her.

God provides, he takes care of us.  He loves us, and he has our best interest at heart.  In each situation, he has provided abundantly and made beautiful things happen. 

But last Saturday...I let it all go.  Tears flowed like the Tennessee River, all day.  I let go of nine months of stuffed back emotions, and I poured out my heart to Jesus about how I felt over each one.  I asked my why...I thanked him for working in each, and I asked for forgiveness for my human feelings that while I know his ways are higher than our ways, My Heart Just Hurts.

I asked forgiveness for my cycle of being on a daily journey of going through the motions, empty, alone and feeling useless and for help in getting out of that mindset.

I don't have the answers to life, or why sometimes we feel overwhelmed when we know God has this.  I do know it is absolutely okay to have these amazing conversations with our father because he knows the desires of our heart.  I am extremely thankful for that opportunity, and need to remember to do it more.

Jesus girls, and guys, it's okay to grieve, and it's okay to admit we don't have it all together.  We're not perfect, and we don't always understand the plan.  That's not our job.  For as this verse says, it is through our weakness that his power is made perfect. 








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